My 14 Favorite Albums of 2010 / Back In Time Top Songs of 2000

Taylor Swift -Speak Now - Yep I love this album! She absolutely writes amazing and eventhough she has a studio voice and not a concert voice (at least on the scream songs), this album is good from start to finish and very catchy. Listen to: Back to December, Haunted, and Never Grow Up

Michael Jackson - Michael - What can i say?! I mean I've been waiting for some new MJ music since 2003. A lot of new artists that worked with him said that his music shouldnt have been finished and put out, but I say you can't hide a mans talents in the ground as the scriptures say! I love most of this album! I know there are some songs I just can't get into. But Michaels melodies, voice changes, and the music perfection is just too amazing. Listen to: I Like The Way (You Loving Me); Hollywood Tonight; Monster (which 50 Cent kills his rap); Hold My Hand w/ Akon

Kenny Chesney-Hemingways Whiskey - Ok, so at first I just didn't expect this from KC. I even told Filip Matous, that it just didn't seem like KC. But then a few listens in I was loving it. He knows how to really tell his life through songs and us fans can think of sometime in our life where we felt the same. Good duet with Grace Potter! Listen to: Somewhere with You, Where I Grew Up, Boys of Fall, and Reality

Zac Brown Band - You Get What You Give - ZBB is amazing! Sophomore album is absolutely just as good as the Foundation if not better! Including someone like Alan Jackson on the first single will always be a good idea! Listen to: As She's Walking Away, Oh My Sweet Carolina (Live), I Play The Road, Settle Me Down

John Mayer - Battle Studies (November 2009 but i didnt listen until 2010) - This album got me through ALOT. It was my summer soundtrack! He continued his legacy from Continuum and whatever those critics say about losing his touch, NOT TO ME! Listen to: Heartbreak Warfare, Perfectly Lonely, Half of My Heart

Kanye West -My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy - I really don't like Kanye West! And to have TSwift and him in the same 2010 list of albums is weird to me! but this album is amazing. I got the super clean version, somehow from a torrent, and there are some amazing raps on this! Listen to: All The Lights, Runaway, Monster

Janelle Monae - The ArchAndroid - Just listent to the whole album! You're life will change! Tightrope has an amazing track with Big Boi! And the video is so dope! Even though she got some mainstream push, she still is very indie to me! Listen to : Tightrope, Dance or Die, Wondaland

Mark Ronson- Record Collection - I love Mark Ronson! I love anything that includes Motown mixed with 2010 electronic production! Bang Bang Bang has Q-Tip and thats all you need to know. Listen to: Bang Bang Bang, The Bike Song, Somebody To Love Me

Black Eyed Peas - The Beginning - They are not really hip-hop anymore! They went away from that after Bridging the Gap, but they once again are producing at great lengths! This one is way more chill than THE E.N.D. even though Dirty Bit is pretty hardcore. Listen to : Love You Long Time, Fashion Beats, XOXOXO, Do It Like This

Yeasayer- Odd Blood - I love this band! Reminds me a lot of Depeche Mode 2010 and O.N.E. is my favorite track

Lady Antebellum - Need You Now - What can I say?! they are amazing, even if they are country pop- they do well at it! Hello World, American Honey, Need You Now, and I Run to You. Amazing!

N.E.R.D. - Nothing - When I heard the snippets before the album dropped, it just didnt sound great! but Travis May and I saw them live in Phoenix and it was amazing. Listen to: Hypnotize U (W. Daft Punk), I've seen the light / in the clouds, God Bless Us All, Hot N Fun

Big Boi - Sir Lucious Left Foot - Shutterbug is soooo dope! And its good to have one of the members of Outkast droppping some lyrical bombs! Great album!

Arcade Fire -The Suburbs - just Listen!!!!!

Top Songs of 2000:
Its Gonna Be Me - Nsync
Nelly - Country grammar
Blaque-Bring It All To Me
Never Let You Go - 3rd Eye Blind
Britney Spears - Oops I Did it Again
Jay-Z - Big Pimpin'
The Next Episode - Dr. Dre
Mary Mary-Shackles

Special Time of Year (Lets make it 365)

At this time of year we come together with our family and loved ones, we feel a sense of love, comfort, and remembrance. Why does it seem to be every year from Thanksgiving onto Christmas we give more to others or seek the well-being of those less fortunate? Does the timing of the birth of our Savior, Jesus Christ 2,000 years ago set a mood or a feeling that we should honor Him by serving others? We know of the many signs that the world was to receive when Christ the child was born such as a new star would present in the night sky. It's interesting to think of the knowledge the world had of Christs' birth by looking to the north and seeing a new star to guide the souls and lives of men. Guiding mens souls and lives...those words just in themselves can change the whole scope of the purpose of this earth life.

In our world of noise that every day seems to create so many negative things, we need to find some balance and create a world where can inspire change for the better. We try to do our best to help others at this time of year and bring joy into not only our hearts but those close to us. We make lists of what was good this year, while we also make lists of what we are going to change next year. It seems our intentions to make changes are very fresh and can motivate us to start off the year on a good foot. Yet a few weeks into the new year or sometimes even a few days in, we let the stresses of the world get to us and we're back to where we began. Everyday should bring us a new set of goals to achieve, a new sense of direction, or even an attitude that will not only keep us positive but those that we come into contact with.

I recently read a great book by the name of "The Message", which the author has an experience of going into a coma for a number of weeks and while he is in a coma he visits the Spirit World. He shares many inspiring messages which he is to share with the world about his experience, but his greatest message of all is service. His guardian angel, which is his nephew who passed away as a teenager, shares that service is the action of love. Christ went about his ministry and served the people through so many ways. We can pray for opportunities to serve those around us whether they be family, friends, or strangers. There are thousands and thousands of stories of service which rendered by one person brought an action of love as well as a change to many people.

May we learn from the perfect man, the perfect example, and our perfect Brother, the Lord, Jesus Christ. As we start to think that this world has so much negativity and that this life is so difficult, pray for opportunities to help those that need you. Christ came to save us through his perfect nature. Christ came so that we may have an example to live by everyday. Christ came to atone for our sins, infirmities, weaknesses, tears, and faults so that we may come unto Him and be more like our Father in Heaven. We never know the result of our service until sometimes years later, but in your heart and in your daily life you will see a change for the better as life gets a little easier.

Merry Christmas and may we serve each other everyday pure in heart. And bring about a change for the better through our talents, our words, our actions, and so many other ways which we have been taught.

Clayton Ashcraft

Hard Work and Timing- Are They Related?

We all know the adage, "Practice makes perfect." So what does it mean to you? Lately, as I have had a lot more time to think about things in my life about where I'm going and what I exactly want to do, I've noticed that there are some relations with hard work and timing. I believe though there are times when hard work does not always bear the fruits right away but in a time when life or God see's fit to allow it. Whether you believe in God, a higher power, or not at all, I think we can all agree certain events in our life happen at the right time for the right reason.

One of the things that has crossed my mind of late is my LOVE LIFE. Do you work hard to find that special someone or do you just let things come to pass with that significant other? I've questioned why I haven't had a girlfriend in about 2 years or why things dont go beyond being just a friend (or best friend). A lot of friends just say it usually happens when you aren't looking or just keep doing whats right and doing you-it will come. I see a lot of people dont many different people and quite a few of these people they don't really last. For me I have had really only 2 solid type girlfriends or girls I've dated. Each time there was some type of work I had to put into building something that would last. The other person also has to work at it as well.

So when your out looking for someone to love, do you actively pursue finding that love or do you just allow things to come as they are? The last question deals more with is your energy so powerful that people are naturally attracted to you or maybe you've worked hard with friendships or relationships in the past that its comes back around like a boomerang? I've made several attempts to create opportunities of girls that I am interested in or want to get to know better. I'm not sure if its who I am that creates some type of friend zone attitude or if who I am makes them to intimidated. I like to be honest with others and with myself, so I have definitely learned to have a different attitude towards seeking a relationship.

Hard work and timing are related! One takes a lot of will, motivation, sometimes blood, sweat, and tears. The other is just the timing of your universe coming together from the hard work. What motivates you to work hard? What keeps you going?

K-Os and The Peaceful Order of Our Existence

It's been a long time I shouldn't have left you with a strong beat to step too! I'M BACK! It's been some crazy months. I'll make this brief, since I am tired! But I went to @Pollstar.com yesterday around noon pm and check the concerts coming to Phoenix. To my joyful surprise I saw K-OS on the bill at @Chaser's in Scottsdale. So I purchased my ticket cause I had to see @K-OS rock the mic like he did when I met and saw him at Warped Tour 2007! So I went to a YSA event rocked the concrete dancefloor and met some amazing peole such as Stacey (through Audrey), who is from Texas but has lived in LA as well. I said sorry to interrupt our awesome convo but I have a hip-hop show to get too. I said you are more than welcome to come to it, so she and AUdrey went with me to Chaser's.
K-OS music is insane...rock n roll, eclectic, hip-hop, and lyricist all combined with a percussionist, a guitarist, keyboardist, another percussionist, and @DJ Jazz. ALtogether you just have to go on YouTube and watch his live music. He is spiritually beyond any emcee's today in the underground. He's from Canada and is huge there and in Europe. I met alot of cool people at the show but altogether I had an experience that took me out of my self...relaxed me and made me think about my existence and my gifts on this earth. Just listen to some of his songs and you'll know what I mean!
Peace and Love

C-Bass

Lessons from The Incredible Mr. Thicke

So I was just talking to my thuper (haha) amazing friend, Ch-ch-ch-Chelsea, and we were talking about a situation she was having trying to not hate on someone who may be hating on her. I was trying to give her some perspective as to being the bigger person and not stooping to the level of that person. It's easy for us to complain, hate, and moan about what people who don't know us or who do sometimes say behind our back. We've all done it in some for or fashion to another and I believe bad karma comes back to haunt us when we hear someone do the same thing towards us.

We have to be the bigger person in life, we have to let the sun shine, and not create the clouds. I know we all have those days where we just can't seem to do anything right or everything goes wrong, believe me I've been Debbie Downer lately, and I want to be the old Clayton who was always happy no matter what.

As I was talking with Chelsea, I said something to the effect that everybody is looking for their balance and happiness in life. Everyone has been made different and happiness is achieved in various ways. I was watching a Robin Thicke interview last night on YouTube and he said why his music is different from others is because its his, not yours, or mine, - we all have been given gifts to make this world a better, happier place. So what he creates is from other inspiration that could have come from you or me, but what inspires him allows him to create whats his.

So as I think about that and talking with Chelsea, I thought we shouldn't judge others if we do not know them and most of the time if we do. We can do what we can to provide happiness from what we create and create a world around us which if we train our minds and hearts to keep the sun shining even in storms or a few passing clouds, then we can always be spreading that happiness and postivity to others.

Recapturing My Magic

I need to recapture the magic of who I am

I need to get back to Clayton who lives life to the fullest

I've got to get back to meeting people which was the center of my universe

I need to balance my life from what I have to do with the things that made me smile

I need to be happy, laugh, smile, and inspire

I used to be excited about the day and enjoy life even when the clouds came, and the last little bit I haven't

The magic of being able to know who I am and make others happy

I need to recapture the magic of who Clayton Andrew Ashcraft really is

Liken The Scriptures - (Not Biting Kyle's Style)

My friend, Kyle Aldous, is doing a wordpress blog which everyday, or when he updates his blog, he will liken the scriptures to events happening in his life. I have regularly followed Kyle for the past few weeks and past blog posts. All I can say is I'm really impressed how he bringing the scriptures words in his life and comparing them to things that are happening. It's really admirable and I've definitely been impressed to do things similar in my life. I may not be blogging it everyday but I am definitely looking at what I read everyday and trying to apply somehow in my life.

One of the things I've been terrible at writing in my journal everyday but being able to get on here and share whats going on in my life has been a lot easier. I've found a lot of inspiration through other friends blogs both in the Church and outside the Church. I believe the words we say, write, hear, and things we do will echoe in eternity, so eventhough we cant take things with us to the next life, these words I'll be able to go back on in this life and the next.

I'm going to try my best at the end of everyday to analyze what happened and where in the scriptures I can find something similar to my situation. My life right now, I feel like I need to stabilize it and be grounded a little bit more. I think the last few months I've put too much stress on myself in so many different ways and I need to step back maybe get to the basics again while moving forward.

At these points of my life where things get crazy, I like to run away and just not deal with the stress in its face! Maybe thats another fear I have to face, is not run when something doesnt go my way- say a potential relationship, work not going as well as I'd like, or when school is just boring. So I guess rather than relying so much on moving through this world like a rolling stone, I need to put my trust in the Lord that as I do what I need too, he will help me bear the stresses I come upon! A HA MOMENT!

BBoy Justified - Dr Pepper Cherry YouTube Dance Studio

VOTE FOR MY BOY, KYLE AKA JUSTIFIED BY VIEWING HIS VIDEO ON YOUTUBE!

The Gambler

Listening to fun.-The Gambler right now and thinking about the relationship I want with my future wife. Even just being in a relationship with someone is like climbing a mountain. I've always been the friend to most girls and even the girls I have dated, its maybe lasted 3 months at the most. I look around at healthy relationships and wonder what is really the secret to success of finding that someone you can know they know you are imperfect but you both work so hard to be perfect and treat the other one as if he or she are kings an queens. I don't believe love is dead or even chivalry, I'm such a strong believer in love like the Golden Age.


In this song "The Gambler" songwriter Nate Ruess writes the song is the voice of his mother who relates having a garden to her and her husbands relationship from the start to the growth of their children. It's so beautifully written and composed that even the hardest heart in the world would tearup just a little. One of my favorite lines in it is"I swear when i grow up i won't just buy you a rose,I will buy the flower shop!" The man doing everything he can to treat his wife like a queen. There elements of a strong relationship in the song about how the children have grown up and the characteristics they have of each parent. Then there is a part which the lyrics turn to her taking care of her husband through being in the hospital. Also see The Format-On Your Porch for Nate's experience of his dad being in the hospital.


I've had the pleasure of meeting the mother and fatherof Nate Ruess at a few concerts here in Tempe. I can see the love in the couples eyes. The last part ofthe song is about him coming home from work kissing his wife on the eyes, cursing at the dog, then going to the garden to see what they've grown, her setting the table, and him setting the fire. I think of simplicty, fun, hard work, tears, happiness, pain, laughter when it comes to the ups and downs of relationships. Although in the song he doesnt explain all the hardships that come with making relationsips last, you can tell that he celebrates the moments to which may have been difficult on them by sharing the moments that matter. Seeing the kids grow, moving toArizona to save their only son, how they met, overcoming health scares...all those experiences we have in life, when we have that other half, can be made even sweeter once the bitter has been tasted.


I cannot wait to sit with my best friend and wife,and have that feeling like no matter what we go through she is behind me 100% and I'm behind her 100%.And its like Keith Urban says,"They say behind every man is a good woman but I think thats a lie, cause when it comes to you, I'd rather have you by my side."I mean who wouldn't want that person who you can always depend on and love no matter what life throws at them.So my quest continues...I know lately I've put a lot of effort into someone who I absolutely adore becauseof who she is, what shes done, and the capacity of whatshe can accomplish. But again, as much as have toldher my feelings and there are similar feelings to a certain degree, I know that I couldn't just sit here and do nothing. I've done all I can. Whomever the Lord has prepared for me, I hope I can be prepared as a worthy priesthood holder in the LDS church, someone who will treat her like a queen, capable of providing, and someone who will continue to inspire.


Mrs. Ashcraft where-ever you are, I'm on my way!

What I WaWaWaWant, What I NeNeNeNe Need

Our wants, our needs what does it all really mean? Are there times when what we need exceeds what we want? Because most of the time what we want always exceeds what we REALLY need. I believe it's part of the natural man that is inside each of us to go after things that are temporary highs when God is looking down like "yo Clayton, my boy, that ain't what you need!" But since he has given us this life to prove ourselves and make our choices, how do we really know when to go after the things we want and the things we need.

Each of us has been given this life and whether you believe in a higher power or not, the goal is to be the best we can in this life. We all make decisions and choices everyday that can determine our future. What do in the present can echoe in the eternities is a quote we should live by. In my belief, sometimes or most of the time we get on our knees with something that we want or asking for. It's almost like we have the mindset to get on our knees and pray for revelation of what we need, but we're set in our minds what we want. I can't tell you how many times I've seen the Lord just let me make my own decision and the consequence comes about sometime after.

When I think of different songs that put something like this into perspective, I think of Garth Brooks - Unanswered Prayers - the chorus goes as such :

Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers

Remember when your talkin to the man upstairs

That just because he may not answer doesn't mean he don't care

Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers.

We should look at the things we want in life and understand what we need. The balance of life comes when we can enjoy progressing through achieving our dreams without giving up who we really are. Sometimes those prayers we pray don't come back instantly with an answer and in a world where we want everything instantly, God does not change for what he created - he expects us to change for Him. Take a list of what we want and what we really need and make some decisions to go after something that will strengthen ourselves. Whether its relationships, traveling, a career, or whatever the goal is - TAKE THE CHANCE IF THEIRS A CHANCE WORHT TAKING!

Clayton

Letting The ____Dictate their Own Path

While just reading Keith Urban's website album blog, there was a subject line that caught my eye.

Letting the songs dictate their own path! That statement hit me in a number of ways. Here's what I thought:

Music dictating my feet

Music dictating my mood

Music dictating my inspiration

How I dictate my happiness

How I dictate my future

Our path in this life is dictated by our own choices because what we do in this life echoes in eternity. So reading about Keith's intuition to create a feeling in music and to run with his ideas just amazes me. On the blog Brad states, "It's fascinating to watch Keiths attention to detail while still letting the songs and players dictate there own paths. Sometimes heʼll just sit for a minute silently ...and then all of the sudden he snaps back into the moment with a clear idea of where to go next." Amazing! I look at his attention to detail and it just makes me think how I allow the music to control my feet as I move across a dance floor.

I've found my best moments when I'm at my creative peak is when I'm EXTREMELY busy with life, when my stress release is at its highest point, or between midnight and 5am (for writing songs). It's weird that I have these different creative peaks at so many odd times. I've found when I'm most creative with business efforts I need to be really busy to plan, organize, and act on my ideas. This is most likely due to the fact that my brain juices are moving at high rates. For dancing and freestyling with hip-hop dance, I find that when my stress level is high and I need to break free-my times where I hit the beat and kill it is at those times.

There is preparation in everything we do, so just like Keith can stop for a moment and move forward with a sound or lyric--it took him years of practice and experiment to understand sounds, chords, and progressions. To be at that moment of "aha" or progression with any type of talent, there must be steps of preparation, of failure, of dust-sweat-tears-sometimes blood from the art of working towards the feeling of accomplishment on some level.

So whats your path? What is dictating it? What preparation are you making for that goal?

Overcoming Fear (Video) Yikes

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ml79xjLaYR8

Check out my video for StandStrong.tv about Overcoming our Fears

A little Scared...Endoscopy

One thing you may not know about me is that I have a really bad stomach, like really bad! Sometimes its genetics and sometimes its the way I eat. Even sometimes how much I worry!So on Tuesday, July 20, I'll be going in for my endoscopy and although a lot of people have had it and it sometimes seems like a normal thing, for me its a big deal which I am nervous about. For the last 6 months or so my stomach has ruled me. Hardly eating anything and throwing up at least twice a week, sometimes lately even blood. My energy and my happiness in life has taken a bit of a downturn. I've had a lot of issues with my stomach in the past but they have never been this bad. I want to say a lot of my worrying has probably caused it but when it got to the point of throwing up blood I WAS DONE! I probably need to stop worrying so much but thats me I guess.

Anyways I have had a few blessings in the last few months from my bishop and friends, all have said this will be taken care of and I HAVE NO DOUBT THE LORD WILL BLESS MY HEALTH. I need to take care of myself better with my food choices and my overall well being. I wonder if letting go of things that make me worry so much would help. Either way I know the Lord will bless me, eventhough I havent been the best I can be lately, I have faith that I can overcome whatever is going on and move forward and progress in my life.

Thank you to all who have been there for me family and friends.

Urban Vibe Productions

Men's Style for Summer

Lovin some of these styles right now. Because I'm on such a tight budget til I can sell my car, I will have to do some thrift shopping at Goodwill. WAIT! I do that anyways but still I love finding styles in magazines and online blogs but then going to a thrift store and making my own creation of who I am at the time. No one, I believe, should live their life inside a box that keeps them bound. The whole Hollister, American Eagle, A & F, thing is something I never liked at all, its fine for people that just need clothes and dont' care, well there is this element of guys who wear that clothing that makes them kind of douchebags. Remember that whole movement of popped collars, that was basically the association with douchebagery.

Well at this point it doesnt really bother me and I shouldn't be so judgmental of how people are. Anyways I got off on a tangent there, I am just about steppin out of my box and creating me not letting corporations create my style. There are some good websites out there that offer some good models of street clothing ideas. Karmaloop.com, Nylon For Guys magazine, GQ, London and European street clothing blogs, http://thesartorialist.blogspot.com/. When I was in London over Thanksgiving I found so many ideas of things I could create and decided to look more into new styles.

Right now I'm feeling the nautical, white pants, blue suit coat, even shorts above the knee cap, bow tie, fedora cap style. There is just something about this summer that screams to me nautical style. Update you on some new finds!

Best Show Ever

So here I was last night laying in my bed talking to my roommate Clint Haglund, yes Rexburg - THE CLINT HAGLUND - we were discussing many different topics surrounding our life. We do this quite a bit and end up making so many epiphanies about what we're doing and where we're going. So I was telling him how SCARED I am to figure out my career and what I want to do. Like I said before, 5 classes left in my MBA then......yep a lot of dots meaning knowing very little. Clint was telling me how I have been able to capture what Social Networking is all about because I had established a lot with Urban Vibe and with my friends on Facebook being able to promote so well.

So I sat back and realized that maybe I should stay in this area and see what I can establish as to my ideas for dancing and the arts. I'm trying to link my Urban Vibe Productions with opening a dance studio, dry-bar venue for all ages, a dance battle tour, dance battle wednesday in multiple states, as well as other ideas. So Clint also told me about a show called The Buried Life, which is a show on MTV of 4 friends who have a bucket list of things to do before they die. Now I do have my own list, but I just like the idea of just going for something and having no regrets. I feel like I used to do that a lot and I haven't had that element in my life in a while. Well I have experienced it in a few ways through love and love lost, but in terms of the happiness in my life and what my talents have allowed me to do, I want that element back.

I have been reading a book over again called Crush It by Gary Vaynerchuk which is basically utilizing your passion by starting a blog or a business revolving around social networking and your passion. So I'm trying to link up all these different ideas, advice, research, and experiences I've had to something that I may have to take a giant leap and just do it!

-Watch The Buried Life @ MTV.com

-Google: Gary Vaynerchuk and BUY HIS BOOK CRUSH IT - if you have a passion and want to make money off it - it can work

-I will meet Justin Timberlake in the next year! That is my goal so if you'd like to help..then!

NEW Kenny Chesney - Boys Of Fall - Released Monday

So he's back! New Album coming out in September called "Hemmingway's Whiskey", so the first single from that album is titled, "Boys of Fall." This is a documentary that he has been working on for about 18 months and will be the theme song. It's going to take a little getting used, I like it, but I expected something bigger for a first single. Similar to a "Beer in Mexico" or "Summertime", but since we are coming up to fall here in Sept./Oct. when his album will be released its expected that we get a reminiscent song.

So my first thoughts on the song were memories from my brother playing football at Orange Glen and going to watch him-even being the waterboy for the Patriots. There was that feeling in the air that fall was here, and football was in full swing. I can remember the snack shack, player pins, the coach, the cheering, the national anthem, and smell of the grass.

The lessons I learned from my brother, and the lessons he learned are ever present today and thats what Kenny delivers in this song. I cannot wait for the documentary on HS football to come out and see the true feeling of what Friday nights from September-December are all about. In his song he talks about small towns like his that was the only way out for some of the players. That is a big deal in so many towns and cities in America. Watch Remember the Titans, Rudy, Friday Night Lights, and a few others I can't think of.

So check out the link below and tell me your thoughts on he song


http://www.theboot.com/2010/07/13/kenny-chesney-boys-of-fall-lyrics/

Lessons Learned From a Scion xB - New York, here I come

So this is Sonya. I've had her for a little over a month now and all I can tell you is I am so thankful for family and paying tithing. Because EVERYONE LISTEN I made a huge financial mistake! I went in to see what kind of car I could get one Friday and came away without, Maxine my Nissan Frontier, who I miss! My monthly payments, after a huge ordeal went from $384 to $356 a month with 11% interest rate at 75 months. As much as I was able to talk them down, I MADE A HUGE MISTAKE. I am now looking to sell Sonya and find a more economical car that will save me tons of money. Because heres what I've realized:

**I dont need a nice car until I can really fit it in too my budget

**I would rather use my extra cash to go on trips, save for concerts, and use the money on a future girl

**Debt sucks! Debt sucks!

**As much as I love the Scion xB, man I miss having a truck to take on adventures

The most important thing I've learned is to use a budget and negotiate until theres no more room to negotiate. And I've realized that spending more time outside going to do things rather than sitting in your house doing nothing because you have not that much money after a paycheck is not the life to live.

This next month I am going to New York for my first time. and I'm reaaaallly hoping to have my car sold by the end of this month so I can have that extra cash to spend in New York! Thats the thing about debt, it tangles you in its web until you have no room to move. I hate that and its mine own decision I must face. One thing, I know as well if I pay my tithing, which for LDS is 10% of every check earned from working, that the Lord will bless me to get rid of this mistake and move forward with smarter decisions that will increase my knowledge in life.

One way I see that happening is by having opportunities to take those trips and see museums, go to church in another state or country, meet new people, share the gospel on these trips...so many ways to be of service to others by not being bound by the desires of man. So if you know anyone in the market for a Scion xB 2008, 40,000 miles.

Either way, don't let stupid debt run your life or tangle you in a web that is difficult to get out of!

:)

Ladder of Life

Really like this photo alot. I kind of feel like thats me at this point of my life. Whether its relationships, career, or any next step towards a goal. I guess anyone can create their own ladder and maybe so have connections to other ladders. Maybe someone combines everything into one ladder and each step could be a job, a relationship, a new car, a house, - basically anything. so I'm looking right now at my career and I AM SCARED! Seriously, I'll shout it from the rooftops if you want me too cause im not scared to say im scared!

I have a wonderful job and maybe career at UOP and I'm working towards that MBA, but my degree in Public Relations and the things I want to do I just don't feel are putting me anywhere near some goals. I am so A.D.D. when it comes to my interests that I tell myself a good office job will be nice, then my gypsy side says have freedom to wake up in the morning whenever you do and eventually get to your work, its your time not theirs. Here are some ideas of things I want to do:

Promotions for sports teams: Padres, Chargers, Suns, anyone really

Promotions/Social Marketing for Record Labels, preferably country music

Event Coordinator - any industry really

Own FroYogurt shop with club/venue -drybar

PR/Marketing for Entertainment Companies

Urban Vibe Productions -Dance Battle tour around the country

Buy/Sell properties both residential and commercial

Run my own dance blog

Start dance studio/sing, dance, music, etc...

So these are just a few ideas I am tossing around. Obviously I love anything in the entertainment industry because that seems to be who I am and the talents I have developed.

Train Hopping and Tasting American Life

At night in my bedroom, I like to listen to the radio falling asleep but I also love opening the window. At certain times of the night I can hear the Union Pacific going by which it crosses at Guadalupe and Cooper. There are times in my life where I thought how fun would it be to just hop on a train. Leaving everything behind and just seeing how far you can get on a train. I've heard stories of people getting beating and dragged off a train for hopping it, maybe that part isn't so fun.

What is really so bad about hopping a train anyways? I can understand that your riding on something worth more than your life, but its not like the weight of an individual will make the train go off its tracks. I guess the whole thing for me is - where will I end up? where will it stop? and how many people really do it? or have done it? One of my vacations I've wanted to take is riding across the middle of the country on a train. Going through mountains, valleys, woods, plains, and small towns. Really see the heart of this country and get to know the people who live out liberty and freedom. I've always wanted to drive a car from the start of summer to the end of summer and go from Seattle to Portland, Maine then go down the East Coast back through Tennessee and travel back West. Ballparks, festivals, music, food, and so many other adventures. I know its simple but going to a bbq festival and tasting lemonade in the South is something that excites me. Meeting different people and hearing about the America they grew up in. We'll see if it happens. Maybe 2011 Summer?!

Except Gracie is Red

So this is a very large photo of my bike, Gracie, not an actual picture but very close! I decided to try and take a ride today at noon in 100 degree weather, while the first part of the trip was easy, it became very difficult riding in the heat! I went from my place down Houston to Lindsay Dr. then up to Ray Rd. where I crossed West to Cooper and barely made it to Warner. I had to call my roommate and get a ride from Discount Tire. So 8.2 miles in 100 degree weather NOT A GOOD IDEA! But whatever I got out and enjoyed the day and had a nice bike ride. Thank goodness for a sweet bike like Gracie here!

Who'da Thunk It? Padres 2010

So here we are on July 09, 2010 sitting at the brink of the end of the 1st half of the MLB season. How many people including myself, a HUGE Padres fan, really thought the San Diego Padres would command the best record in the NL and hold a 3 game lead over the Colorado Rockies in the NL West? I stand here and say I did not expect it. Now that they are where they are thanks to pitching from their starters and a bullpen named the "PENitentiary"http://http://www.usatoday.com/sports/baseball/nl/padres/2010-06-29-san-diego-padres-cover_N.htm, for the shutdown crew they are. And although Adrian Gonzalez is the powerhouse of the hitting on the team, .300 avg., 17hr, and 54 RBI's, there is production coming in the strangest of areas.

With the pitching sqaud doing work, Padres have so many opportunities to win by scores of 1-0, 2-1, 2-0, very low scoring games, but a win is a win. So most people believe that the Padres wouldn't last to this point and they continue to say the Padres will not make into October nor will they even win the NLWest. But I believe to this very day, that the Padres will be in the playoffs and will take the NL West Pennant. We have done work with virtually no injuries from any big players except for Chris Young and at this point we are doing just fine with our starting pitching.

Let's hope moving forward after this All-Star Break we can continue our talented play. 50-35 is what we are at currently with the possibility of being 53-35 with a sweep of the Rockies.

GO PADRES

Taking The Next Step

I'm taking the next step everyone. Not sure exactly what that next step is, well yes I do, but my next step in life is to find someone who equally loves me the way I love them. Someone to cherish and look into her eyes through the good and hard times and know that person will never give up. But that will come when it comes, so I'm not going to put too much pressure on that. Letting things happen as they are means actively pursuing someone with attractive qualities but not putting myself out there so much that I will get hurt like the past.

I know what I want in a partner and I will do my best to find those qualities. It sounds easier to type this and say it than it is to actually go out and find someone those qualities. Since I've put myself in a position the last 4 months or so where I thought I had found someone who worked for me, I closed doors to other opportunities. Not that they were knocking at my door, THEY definitely weren't, but I didn't want anyone else-I DIDNT. At this point, its taken a lot for me to just be friends with this girl but I'm slowly moving forward and I hope she finds herself or what she is looking for. So I move forward and whatever happens in the future with a girl will happen at the right time for the right reason. Heavenly Father is going to put the MOST AMAZING girl in my way and when it happens I hope to be prepared for her, and I will be so happy!

Another area I am looking to conquer in the next few months is understanding my path for a career. Working at Univ. of Phoenix has been the best thing for me and I know I am / was supposed to be here in Arizona to make mistakes, overcome weaknesses, and prepare to take the next step in my life. I am furthering my education by getting my Masters in Business Adminstration. I can't wait to be done with school forever after this, but what will I do? Where will I go? I've inquired of friends lately what some projects they are taking on and these are friends who have similar interests or goals. Dave Romeny, Derek Porter, Daniel Kunz, Tyson Stevens, Filip Matous, and Danny Carpenter - these are some friends doing some fun projects that are giving me some inspiration to step out of my box. There is so much I want to do with my interests so I hope I can do the research necessary and write out ideas of what I want to achieve.

Whats your next step in life? and as Filip Matous asks : What do you want to be remembered when this life is done? http://standstrong.tv/

Time To Let Go and Move On...

So it's time to let go, yet another checkpoint in my life which I need to look to back and say what was good and what do I need to change. I wouldn't say this time was for nothing but I cannot hold on anymore to something that will not progress me forward any. I try so hard to be a good example in many different ways and I believe I've done so much for certain individuals but there is only so much you can do. There shouldnt be a time in anyones life which they give so much and receive nothing. Its at the point where I've given all I could. I must let go. I love this person very much and pray for them every night but I must move forward now and accomplish whatever is to be placed before me. Love this picture because it is what I am doing. It may take a little time to get over, but I know the Lord will be there comforting me in every way. Thank goodness for knees to fall upon and know I can rely on the love of My Heavenly Father and my Savior, Jesus Christ. Not too mention family and friends who have been there for me.

So I wrote this song tonight waiting to meet with the Bishop. I wrote in like 7 minutes, it just came to me:

Move On

07/06/10

In my own paradise

Not too crazy

It's a simple life

I move on...

Lessons learned

Through these tough times

Like the wind I blow by

I move on...

Sing it now

I move on...

And I move on

Like an 18 wheeler

Across the American sky

I move on...

Like a young man in

A camaro with his new bride

And I move on...

From the man I was

For far too long

And I move on...

Re-writing my song...

Pushed myself to the limit

Found out that

Ain't a life worth living

I move on...

You can just see

People start growin apart

When its not from the heart

I move on...

Sing it now

I move on...

And I move on

Like a parent letting go

When a child hits the road

I move on...

Like a a love that never lasts

Gettin on from the past

And I move on...

From a world so dark

To find the grace of a selfless heart

And I move on...

Re-writing my song...

Here I kneel

Pray tonight

To have His light in my life

I move on...

One day my

Hope seems to be

Son, come abide with me

Let's move on...

And we move on...

Like the Lord in his goodness

Forgiving the sinners life

We move on...

Like the angels and saints

Walking through the sky

We move on...

Feel the warmth of his love

Never have to worry no more

And we move...

Til forever we move on..

Doing Something Scary and Facing Your Fears

A friend recently sent me a text and said do something today which you've been scared to do. Basically, face your fears! Well that day I was going to be doing something I have self-consciously had a difficult time with in the past. Instructing a dance class with having no practice or thought of what moves I would use to teach this class. Taylor had asked me to do it that morning at 10:30am, basically to come teach at 6pm that day. After telling her how scared I was to teach, I finally decided that I needed to do it.

It had been about 4 years or so since I had really choreographed anything or taught a dance class, so it was a giant leap for me to take. There had been other things in my life of recent that I felt like I would regret if I never told that person my true feelings for her. You can probably guess at this point who that person was. Dancer, beautiful, amazing in heart, I can go on and on. Anyways the point is you cannot fear what man will say or do, you can only face your fears. I was able to teach the class for 2 hours and it gave me a lot of confidence to move forward with no matter what it was.

My best friend had told me he contacted 10 people who were inactive regarding coming to church or accepting home teachers to come over. I'm sure that is a big fear to overcome having to ask people who are not active in church if they would come or at least have home techers meet with them. It gave me power in other areas of my life to overcome weaknesses and make them strengths. Why should we fear what man can say or do? We have the ability to overcome the insecurities inside we hold and let go of a past that has held us back for so long.

One of my favorite quotes is by Marianne Williamson-"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

So do something that you are scared to do. Set up a list, similar to a bucket list, and conquer what you need or want too. Don't let the world conquer you for you have power beyond capacity of what may really seem. While you are conquering your fears, you will not fully be doing that if you keep selfishly to yourself. So be an example to others by encouraging them to overcome their fears and share in the experiences we call life!

The Art of Bboy'n

The art of bboy'n is something I have come to appreciate. Lately my drive to push bboy or hip-hop dancin events has been at its high level again. KRS-One's song "Hip-Hop Lives" rhymes -"Hip means to knowIt's a form of intelligenceTo be hip is to be up-date and relevant Hop is a form of movement You can't just observe a hopYou got to hop up and do it Hip and Hop is more than music Hip is the knowledge Hop is the movement Hip and Hop is intelligent movement Or relevant movement." Love this track. So when it comes to bboy'n this is so true, you gotta get up and do it. There is an some intelligence in hurting after trying to learn windmills or dancing for 3 hours and youre just done tired. Bboy'n is tough! Really, there is so much technique and muscle to it! You have to have a good respiratory for it also! Some of these 1 on 1's I watch that go 7 rounds are insanneee. I think everyone should take time and watch a bboy to just appreciate the art!

I WANT A PYGMY AS A PET

So my friend Halston at work told me his friend is getting a Pygmy goat as a pet. He caught fire to the idea and now I want one as well. Is it so wrong? I mean I can get milk and cheese from it. Also all you have feed it is hay and water!

So I want one

Danced Til I (Almost) Died

This weekend I really hit the dancing hard! Friday night it was Clayton and Taylor's night out in Tempe. She needed to dance the blues away and just have some fun! So thats what we did! We owned Cadillac Ranch and San Felipe's! Love that girl, she has so much passion and she is amazing talent! She can accomplish so much with what she has to offer and I hope to help her accomplish it!

Saturday night I pretty much danced myself to almost passing out. I have this stomach issue called "Acid Reflux", if I don't take my medicine then my stomach kills me and sometimes if I do too much sport or dancing, I will eventually throw up. It's become a big problem of late.

Anyways went to Dance Energy where AZCleanParties was rockin out. And I knew I would be so sweaty in that place because its a hotbox! Well I hit my 2nd circle battling my friend Josh, and that was it! I ran outside and then collapsed, I can remember little things here and there, like Clint and Shanna helping keep me awake, putting me in a truck, and laying in my bed last night. Kinda crazy I know because most people pass out from drinking too much, which I have NEVER drank, so if that was a glimpse into that I WILL NEVER DRINK A DROP OF ALCOHOL!

But all in all, I love dancing and the expression and passion it allows me to communicate with others. I have a lot to do with dancing and others need to be inspired because of what I do. In hopes that I will inspire them to share whatever talent they may have! Here's to another week! :)

FML - Try Again

What does this picture represent? Well I miss good cartoons, thats one thing, but thats not what I'm saying here.

That Sam guy is trying to hit the target and he just can't. He tries, and tries, and tries but hasn't hit it yet! Welcome to my dating life in Arizona. And today the funniest thing happened.

Saturday night went and met my friend Josh at Cadillac Ranch and it stunk. So we went over to Toby Keith's Bar and Grill in Mesa to meet up with a friend. While I was there I danced with a girl that ended working at Univ. of Phoenix. We actually exchanged names so we could IM each other back and forth at work. So I get into work Wednesday and we start getting to know each other. We talk again today and I end up asking her out for lunch. She says we can meet up next week to go get lunch, well 10 minutes after that she says,"I did tell you that I'm married, so if you're fine with that we can still do lunch." I was like that information would have been useful at Toby's, yesterday, and when YOU said that you would go to lunch with me. Hahaa just my luck right?!

Well not planning on dating married women, so I am single ladies. But I just have been shooting and missing when it comes to dates out here. My last "official" date was back in July/August, and I've asked girls out but they come up with some excuse and/or don't even try to reschedule so it kind of sucks. I get down sometimes on that fact, but then again I'm busy with work and school and other projects that someone will come along. Shoot til you hit the target!!!!

Rainy Tuesday

Something about this rain today that I just love. It rained all day yesterday and has rained today as well. Been at home with this crazy acid reflux and I was glad to listen to the rain as I watched TV in my bed. I could have got more accomplished in bed like homework or slept more because of this stomach, but I didn't. We all have choices to make in our life, because life is a series of choices. If I were feeling better would've probably stood in it and listened to music but I sit at my window and let it take me away.

January has gone by very quickly! There are things to change now and this rain makes me feel like tomorrow is a new day to turn things right. Must say that my motivation and my thoughts have not been where they need to be. They've not followed the person I've been or wanted to start off with for 2010! My independence from others has started to become a greater gap. I don't care to date because there is no one there to feel the same way and what is another heartbreak going to get me. So I want to concentrate on work, school, and my business ideas. Maybe my feelings will change somewhere this week or next. Who knows! I try to be positive individual!

One area I seek to work on is not letting my natural man take over my thoughts. Sometimes I think to much with certain areas. Surrounding myself in virtue will build this confidence. Every man or woman has a journey through something that affects them for the bad, where do they find the will to overcome. I know the steps, I know what works, but sometimes why don't I do it? All I can live is for today and work tomorrow to be - that much better!

Thank you Rain!

Crazy Heart along with a Crazy Weekend

This morning I was supposed to go golfing with my boss and some other co-workers but the rain was falling pretty hard at 7:30am. On my way to play golf, my boss called and said since the rain was puring there would be none today. That was fine because I needed to save money, and wanted to get back to sleep anyways. Made it back home, went back to sleep then woke up to try and get myself together. It was one of those days that I felt like a "Monday Morning Quarterback" because of the Chargers loss. I guess it really affected me pretty bad!

Anyways, my movie going of late has been non-existent meaning my last movie was day before Thanksgiving in London watching "This Is It". So there are a few movies that have come that I've wanted to see, but today since it was raining and I was in contemplative mood and needed some kind of mind relaxer, I went to see "Crazy Heart." This is a movie about a 57-yr old washed up country artist who finds himself again through meeting a woman with a 4year old son in Santa Fe, New Mexico. He goes from town to town on these cafe or bowling alley gigs. He is known as "Bad Blake." Throughout the whole movie he is this chain-smoking, alcoholic who is slowly running his life into the ground. He has no new music material and always denies the person he taught music to, "Tommy Swift" because he's a big shot in the business.

The whole concept which I got from the movie, is don't put off tomorrow what you can, and maybe should do today! I would say exactly how the movie ends but I won't tell you because its good. Not that its like some amazing ending but I just love that its about true country musician. I've always wanted to live life on the road and listen to old country, rock, blues music. I've wanted to live out an Eagles song, maybe travel to Winslow, Arizona like it says in "Take It Easy." Maybe other people are similar to me and maybe they aren't. I believe everyone can gain something from this movie and its message.

Shake Off The Weekend Dust

Not Sure Exactly What Team That Was Yesterday!? If you can tell me then please explain it to me! This may be the end of the LaDainian Tomlinson era, sad to see! Either way our rebuilding efforts have to concentrate on signing Antonio Gates and Vincent Jackson #1! Then see what Sproles will do, maybe retrieve Marcus McNeil and Luis Castillo! We need to hit the market strong so we can be right back in the playoffs again next year! O-Line / D-Line and maybe some good linebackers. We also need to look at running backs. Either way 2009 San Diego Chargers, you had a great run!

I think I'm going to head to Tempe Marketplace and catch a movie and write down some things I need to get done! I need to be away from this house and out where I can shake off this dust I attracted this weekend!

Happy - Go - Yummy / Ikoniq

So this idea in my mind has been pounding like a steady train for the last little while. My goal this year is to open a positive spot for everyone age 1-99. I will obviously concentrate on youth and college age people, but I want anyone and everyone to come enjoy the atmosphere of HAPPY - GO- YUMMY.

My friend, Chelsea, and I have been starting to plan out a business for the yogurt shop / artist nook! Basically, think Barnes and Noble atmosphere, cafe, venue, hang-out spot that anyone can get away from life or needs an added positive experience in their life. The front of the venue will be yogurt, cafe, light sandwiches, etc.. while the back will have a removable stage for open mic nights, poetry slams, clean club nights for youth and 18+. There are not a lot of options for youth these days to have positive influences in terms of joints! So I want to create that atmosphere and a "come as you are and do what you love, so you can progress". I have a vision of positive quotes on the walls, positive colors, and some type of way people can be INSPIRED.

Any ideas please send my way. UPDATES TO COME

Kyle forgive me for biting your style but i like it...

pro⋅gres⋅sion - Music. the manner in which chords or melodic tones follow one another; a succession of chords or tones.

I know that image will be burned in your brain.

I feel like I'm progressing but still have areas of great importance to fix.

work - I feel comfortable with my job in working hard.

School -going much better as I determined to push hard with little room for procrastination.

Music and dance is going great with &RU and the goals we have for this year and "IKONIQ"

Business - working on a business plan for yogurt shop and venue for artists of all types.

Tonight going out with friends from work and around the area, headed to Tempe Marketplace for food and eventually dancing. This weekend is going to be great with school, church, dancing, and watching the Chargers beat the Jets!

Top Events of 2009: #2 - RIP Michael Jackson 1958-2009

What more can I say about the King of Pop, I guess I should give you the background of my influence of MJ. He is the reason I dance, the reason I sing, and has influenced much of my talents. Honestly, it still gets me emotional listening to his music and watching his movie that he had to die to soon

I come from a big family. I am the last child of 5 and was the "surprise" of the family. I'm 7, 9, 11, 13 years from next siblings, so growing up in the 80's, I was exposed to MTV, music, and music videos. I remember when I was age 5, 6, or 7 and I remember always watching Michael Jackson, Janet, Bobby Brown, and other 80's artists. I would stand in front of the TV and just mimic what he would do. I remember I would be so scared at Thriller and the crazy costumes. Never could I watch the end of the Thriller where the girl runs into the house and the zombies break into the house and surround her. NOOOOO! Too scary!

The dance scene in Thriller though got me on my feet dancing all around in my Batman underwear, grabbing my crotch, and spinning around. My mom never really liked the crotch grabbing haha, but I was just doing what Michael did. One of the things I remember most about dancing to MJ was performing at my Dad's wedding reception as well as Orange Glen Ward Talent Show as a kid. Apparently there is video out there but not too sure where.

The next time I really remember dancing was in middle school in 8th grade. I remember the DJ playing Thriller once again and so naturally it came out. The days from being a kid to my early teen years, I don't remember the actual songs but I remember how happy I was when the music played. There was an energy in all his songs that just could pierce your heart no matter who you were. Everyone was inspired in some way by MJ. I do remember watching the "Man In The Mirror" video and also being scared to watch because of the images of children and violence on it. But look at the effect it had on the world.

When I got into high school, every stake dance no matter where it was, when MJ was on...there I was! My style of dress, my dancing, and my songwriting were all influenced by the King of Pop. At that time, MJ wasn't really touring the US because he was traveling around the world performing in other countries. Had a lot of friends who were influenced by him too and at dances we would battle in the circle.

My biggest love for MJ came after high school when I was transitioning into Singles Ward/Mission/BYU-Idaho. Same thing, anytime there was a dance party I would be right there representing for the King of Pop! I remember meeting David Alan Romney at a dance or at church as he had come back from a mission, we ended up creating an N'Sync influenced lip-sync band called "N'Rhythm" and performed at dances as well as talent shows around church. The other thing I loved about Dave was his love for MJ. We really connected with the MJ thing and had all these inside jokes.

My next big MJ influence really came when I went to BYU-Idaho aka Rexburg, Idaho. There was very little hip-hop dancing up there, a few people who had performed or got together and danced. I needed somewhere to dance and along came Retrix! aka Strata! aka Club Dance (booooo) aka LAME SECURITY COMPANY! I remember my first dance at school, they played MJ at the dance and instantly I was going to like this place. One of the first things I did was sign up for a thing called "Battle of the Dance" that was going to be held at Viking Stadium that summer. I remember practicing for the show, mixing music with Nate Dogg, and the night of performing to an MJ/JT mix. I remember walking through the crowd and busting the hat, the spin, the kick, and the moonwalk.

At BYU-Idaho, I was able to do so many things and overcome this voice inside of me saying "you're not good enough" or "what can you really do?" It was tough I'll tell you trying to realize who I was. I had these talents I never did too much with, but I was surrounded by friends who helped me share them. How does MJ become involved like this in my life? Well look at what he did from his music, to his dance, to his style. The one thing I love about dancing is that I escape into another world and the person I am really is unfolded before peoples eyes. So when I attended school and found that there wasn't a big dance scene, I attracted myself to people who loved to dance. Cameron Weeks, Tyson Stevens, Ivor Lee, Brian Osbourne, Tyler Hollingshaus, Jacob Rosen, and many others that would come later. But these guys were some of the first together and start dancing at the Kirkham.

I went from the "You Got Served"/MJ kid to learning to pop and bboy. After a while of going to Strata or the Kirkham or anywhere really, I started involving other people to get together and work on routines for Battle of the Dance or any talent show. MJ was always the one to open the doors to doing some event, or allowing myself to be heard through my talents. Through those avenues, I was able with Cameron Weeks and Jacob Rosen to create Urban Vibe! And through Shelly Burk's amazing idea-we were able to create Dance Battle Wednesday and Dance Battle University! I can't tell you the amount of influence those events had on ALOT of people in Rexburg. I don't mean that for any pat on the back for myself, but it was just the right thing at the right time, and WE DID IT!

All my music and my dancing comes from God, but God sends people with AMAZING talents into this world, and they (as well as all of us) have an opportunity everyday to improve, use, and share it with the world. MJ was one of those who changed the whole world by utilizing his talents. I do not look to him as an idol but one I can take aspects of his influential talents and say, "How can I share what I have with someone else, and have them grow in their talents?"

When I moved out here to Arizona, it was around March, I remember sitting in this very spot now and looking on the Web only to find MJ's announcement of "This Is It" concerts. I stayed up all night on the phone with my best friend, Josh Mack, looking to purchase these tickets for London. When I finally got through and saw that I could purchase 4 seats in REALLLLY AMAZING seats, I had to do it! On my Bucket List #20 you will see, "Watch MJ peform live at a concert." This WAS IT! We were going, we were going to see the King of Pop on January 27, 2010 in London at the O2 Arena. My excitement was beyond words!

Life goes on! I'm stoked to be going! MJ is rehearsing in LA at the Staples Center. Then everything goes for a 180. June 25, 2009, I sat at my computer at work and received a text from Mack saying MJ had just had a heart attack and it wasn't good. This was about 15 minutes prior to anything that had been released as I had checked online instantly. I was like thats funny man, ahhaah. Mack replied "No man, London isn't going to happen!" I was like what? are you kidding? that bad? Another 15 minutes rolls by and reports are coming out left and right that MJ was in bad shape and even that he had died. I DID NOT WANT TO BELIEVE IT! Then it was confirmed that he had in fact DIED!

I broke down like he was my own kin! I think a lot of people felt the same way that day! I honestly took a walk for about 10 minutes and tried to just realize it. To this moment, I still get sad about him passing. It was his time, but it felt too soon! These concerts were to be epic! Like he was back! And after watching "This Is It" he really was! The way he moved, and sang, and had that passion to return to perform for his fans and kids!

His memorial was so touching, with his kids saying how much they missed him and the heartfelt song Usher sang. It was just a beautiful service. Also being able to go to London and be at the Arena where he stood and where he would perform made my love and thankfulness for MJ even deeper.

MJ thank you for the light that you brought in this dark world. The people that constantly tried to ruin your life because of your purity with charity work, dancing, music, and just the person you were will never prevail over those such things. May we all take some aspect of positivity and goodness that you shared with us and apply it to helping this world be a better place. Start with the MAN IN THE MIRROR to HEAL THE WORLD and make it a better place for you and for me! May we all care for the children of this world who are in dire need of love, warmth, food, and water. May we shine our light so that others may feel they can share theirs.

I could probably go on for days about MJ! If you really know me, I really could! haha. But I will end with a few quotes from MJ

"If you enter this world knowing you are loved and you leave this world knowing the same, then everything that happens in between can be dealt with. "

"Let us dream of tomorrow where we can truly love from the soul, and know love as the ultimate truth at the heart of all creation."

"The meaning of life is contained in every single expression of life. It is present in the infinity of forms and phenomena that exist in all of creation."

"And my goal in life is to give to the world what I was lucky to receive: the ecstasy of divine union through my music and my dance."

RIP MJ - SEE YOU WHEN I GET THERE! (YOU OWE ME A CONCERT!)

Top Events of 2009 : 4-3 Holllaaaa

4. Living Out an Eagles Song-Grand Canyon State move

January 2009 was probably one of the toughest months of my life in terms of emotions. I went through a lot of downs more than ups. I worked really hard with my Bishop to overcome a lot of the emotional transition I was going through. I had a lot of support from friends to get me through these rough times. Danny, Kyle, Megan, as well as friends from San Diego, Idaho, and Utah all had my back helping me gain some type of confidence. It was mostly due to a break up with my girlfriend. I cared so much about her and a lot of her was in me. It didn't help that we onlyt lived about 30 minutes from each other. I just didn't handle it well for myself. Nothing bad had happened and no hard feelings were felt between us, she just had a different path than me. She probably handled the situation better than I did. A lot of tears were shed! But I realize now that I needed to get through those pains to find strengths and a path towards what I wanted to do.

I had been working on some business ideas with my friend, Kyle Aldous, out in LA and we had hung out quite a few times. I was working hard with my brother doing property preservation. In my line of work I had a lot of time to listen to music and think, so it was tough to get over the break up. But I surrounded myself with goals I wanted to achieve and set forth to move on with my career. We were looking to do dance battles all around the country, like a tour, and in each city we would teach classes as well as help out a charity along the way. So we got to hang out and just talk about life and the girl situations we were dealing with. The Lord knows how to put us in paths where we gain great friendships at appropriate times. Kyle and I are actually very similar in personalities and many different aspects of our life.

While I was staying over at his place, one morning I woke up rather early and sat out on his porch in Glendale, California. While reading some selections in the Book of Mormon, I came up on some scriptures regarding serving the needy and sick and the thought came to mind that I needed to go get my masters degree in Business or Non-Profit studies. The other thought was helping these charities along the way for our dance battle business plan. I started doing some research on degree programs around the country. I had remembered I had looked at ASU for a Masters at one point but I was also looking at a Masters in Long Beach. The impression came to me that I needed to look into ASU and somehow Arizona was a place I should be. I had some close friends that lived out in this area such as Lance Thorson, Mike Marshall, and other random friends from BYU-Idaho and san Diego. Also a note that if I had not got into BYU-Idaho, I was going to move to Mesa and go to MCC.

My research on Arizona happened quite rapidly and I was doing everything possible to make it out here. Housing, friends on facebook. jobs, and masters programs with UOP & ASU. When I talked to Lance about coming out to Arizona to visit and see if it was something I wanted to do, it never really worked out. But he referred me to a manager at UOP, which I was able to have a few job interviews over the phone. Well I gave my brother my 2 weeks, and said I'm gone! I just needed to rely on faith and the Lord to help me be where I was going to grow. That was one of the craziest things I ever did, now that I look at it and I love that I did that. I'm a free spirit and a lot of people ask me - are you in Idaho, Utah, California, or Arizona? haha its funny.

So on my way, I drove with all my stuff packed into Maxine, my truck, and headed across the state line of Arizona. Like I mentioned before I only knew so many people so I relied on a friend of mine to connect me witht his guy Jeremy in Mesa. The first night I got there I met him and we headed to go bet on dogs at a racetrack or at least watch. i also ended up meeting a good friend that night, Erin Holmes. Jeremy had mentioned he had a friend who was looking for roommates in his new house in Gilbert. We went by and the place was amazing. It was Ben Brimhall from Prescott, Az. The place was 300 + utilities which for a private room and all the features was awesome. I was hesitant cause of the price, but I decided to do it! And I moved in with Ryan, Ben, and Chris. Such a cool household and everyone is clean! That place has never been dirty! Chris ended up moving out, and we got a new roommatte in Jared. He's a great guy but you hardly know he's home. I had tried to get my buddy Clint into the household but he hadn't moved out to AZ yet.

But I have made the best of friends out here, had some great experiences, and know I will continue to grow and strengthen my ability to rely on the Lord and allow his guidance in my decisions. There have been many mistakes and many tears shed, but a lot more happiness in friends and accomplishments. Done a few UVP events out here and have a lot going for 2010 with UVP and IKONIQ. I'm not going to mention names because theres so many, but thank you to everyone who has been there for my sickness, health, happiness, sadness, joy, and pain. I love you all.

3. Trip To London

Wow! this was the craziest adventure I've ever had in my 26.8 years! Haha, never do the lonnnggg distance thing with the opposite sex. At least stay in the same country! I loved London, but I would never live there. I would live maybe northern England. London is fast...way to fast for me. Really it seems everyone there has to be at they're destination at that exact time and if you're in the way of that path, you WILL BE TRAMPLED! I like to live life at a decent pace and by my own ways/means. Of course there are times and places I need to be which I will keep, but in London, it seems the only time they relax is on the tubes, buses, and trains. It seems that people wake up at 8 and get off work around 8 then go to pubs then go home around 11. The feeling is they live there life too fast and time just flys by. I'm the type to appreciate the simple things and enjoy every second of life. I guess that's why went I went to Tennessee back in 2005, the way, the people, and the life just really suited my inner soul.

So in all reality I went out to visit a girl, I had been dating and things were getting serious. We had become good friends and things progressed towards a deep care for each other. I had also planned on going in this month (January 2010) to see Michael Jackson at his "This Is It" concert, but we know the ending to that story. This girl was really awesome and we had just been friends for awhile until our feelings started to develop more -- well to the point that I bought a ticket to go out there and see if things would work. Even though closer to flying to London things started to get serious. I also had an old roommate from BYU-Idaho and best friend that lived in Stockwell. So I was ubbbeerr stoked to go! We had also planned to go to Paris, France for a day and see what there was to see.

A week before I was to fly out from Phoenix, things started to get kind of weird with the girl. She was very short with and seemed like she was busy constantly. I know it was crazy and nervous feelings were being felt, but I just didn't think anything of natural feelings. I mean 2 people meeting or seeing each other for awhile can get those feelings. By Saturday, on my way to London, I was in Chicago at O'Hare waiting to board the plane. I had texted her to say I'll be getting on soon. I received a phone call from her in which she basically had said, "We need to talk when you get here and I hope you know you're a good friend and great guy!" I thought nothing wrong with that, good words! haha. here we go

I arrive at the airport around 11 am, I eventually get ahold of her at 1130 and her with her friends end up snagging me around 1230pm. I was like wow! I guess time doesnt matter. But the whole trip I kept a positive attitude. While we were taking the train to church on our way to South Kensington/Hype Park, her friends had made there way to a farther side of the car we were in. She pulled me to the side and said she needed to talk about things. She had there had been some changes in the last week and that she was really confused about everything. She had a lot of pressure on her shoulders. A LOT OF PRESSURE? HER? awww sad! Now that I realize a lot about the trip - it seemed she acted very selfish in many ways. And at the first few days I was blind to see that.

She xplained how there was a guy she had wanted to date in February and he wasn't interested then, but apparently A WEEK BEFORE I COME OUT TO SEE HER he ends up telling her he's serious about dating her. haha, now if your somewhat together with someone wouldn't you normally tell that person that you're dating someone? am i crazy? She said all the xcuses - I'm not good enough for you, you're a really great guy, blah blah blah. I just sat there and told her whatever she needed I would help her and be there for her. I am just naturally sensitive to others needs and now that I think about it, I could have just as well ended it all there, hung out with her without having to feel the up and down emotions that I felt that trip.

I mean really who breaks up with someone when they come HALF WAY around the world. If anything I feel blessed to have the opportunity to go to London and visit somewhere not in America. All you really need to know is that she didnt want to be exlcusive and that she wanted this other guy. She could have come out and said that, so that I could go have fun all around England and France. THANK GOODNESS for having my buddy Filip there.

I'm not saying I depended upon Filip, but I think if I would've not had him there, I might have tried to get a flight back early! Rather, I was able to see some of the coolest history in the world. I find I give too much of myself! I'm tired of being walked all over with ladies. I feel like sometimes the person I am gets walked over on a consistent basis because I'm a down to earth nice guy who actually cares and is fun. So it sucks to be taken advantage of and for someone to pull this junk on me. Honestly, I was over it quite quickly and got to enjoy some fun. Not to say she and her family weren't hospitable, but my reasoning for going to London, originally, was for her and not the sights. That obviously changed when she changed her mind.

It was fun going to Big Ben and the House of Parliament, where he dad worked as an office manager for a member (similar to congressman or senator). Watching the debate was really fun and there was so much history. The funny thing is that you can't fall asleep in the debate (similar to Capitol Hill) or you will be asked to leave. You also go up a windy staircase to go to the viewing room which I felt like I was in a castle. So that experience was really awesome. I ended up going to hang out with Filip and Thalia, who I both met at Waterloo station which is a great station for people watching. We headed up to Camden Town to watch Thalia's friends band, The Tunics! It was at a place called the Barfly. The town around was really awesome and there was this cafe with the bestttt hot chocolate.

The rest of the week pretty much was checking out the sites, going to the London South Temple, checking out some pubs with Filip and Thalia (not i dont drink), doing some photography around town, checking out the Beatles sites, and watching Michael Jackson's This Is It in London. I got to see where Michael Jackson's This Is Concert was going to be, the 02 arena.

One of the coolest things I have found out after my trip was that the building in South Kensington/Hyde Park, my dad had baptized all 21 people he had taught when he was in London for his mission. I wish I had known that before because it would have made the whole experience a lot more enjoyable and appreciated.

All in all I had a great time and I'm ready to travel more! FILIP YOUR THE MAN