The Gambler

Listening to fun.-The Gambler right now and thinking about the relationship I want with my future wife. Even just being in a relationship with someone is like climbing a mountain. I've always been the friend to most girls and even the girls I have dated, its maybe lasted 3 months at the most. I look around at healthy relationships and wonder what is really the secret to success of finding that someone you can know they know you are imperfect but you both work so hard to be perfect and treat the other one as if he or she are kings an queens. I don't believe love is dead or even chivalry, I'm such a strong believer in love like the Golden Age.


In this song "The Gambler" songwriter Nate Ruess writes the song is the voice of his mother who relates having a garden to her and her husbands relationship from the start to the growth of their children. It's so beautifully written and composed that even the hardest heart in the world would tearup just a little. One of my favorite lines in it is"I swear when i grow up i won't just buy you a rose,I will buy the flower shop!" The man doing everything he can to treat his wife like a queen. There elements of a strong relationship in the song about how the children have grown up and the characteristics they have of each parent. Then there is a part which the lyrics turn to her taking care of her husband through being in the hospital. Also see The Format-On Your Porch for Nate's experience of his dad being in the hospital.


I've had the pleasure of meeting the mother and fatherof Nate Ruess at a few concerts here in Tempe. I can see the love in the couples eyes. The last part ofthe song is about him coming home from work kissing his wife on the eyes, cursing at the dog, then going to the garden to see what they've grown, her setting the table, and him setting the fire. I think of simplicty, fun, hard work, tears, happiness, pain, laughter when it comes to the ups and downs of relationships. Although in the song he doesnt explain all the hardships that come with making relationsips last, you can tell that he celebrates the moments to which may have been difficult on them by sharing the moments that matter. Seeing the kids grow, moving toArizona to save their only son, how they met, overcoming health scares...all those experiences we have in life, when we have that other half, can be made even sweeter once the bitter has been tasted.


I cannot wait to sit with my best friend and wife,and have that feeling like no matter what we go through she is behind me 100% and I'm behind her 100%.And its like Keith Urban says,"They say behind every man is a good woman but I think thats a lie, cause when it comes to you, I'd rather have you by my side."I mean who wouldn't want that person who you can always depend on and love no matter what life throws at them.So my quest continues...I know lately I've put a lot of effort into someone who I absolutely adore becauseof who she is, what shes done, and the capacity of whatshe can accomplish. But again, as much as have toldher my feelings and there are similar feelings to a certain degree, I know that I couldn't just sit here and do nothing. I've done all I can. Whomever the Lord has prepared for me, I hope I can be prepared as a worthy priesthood holder in the LDS church, someone who will treat her like a queen, capable of providing, and someone who will continue to inspire.


Mrs. Ashcraft where-ever you are, I'm on my way!

What I WaWaWaWant, What I NeNeNeNe Need

Our wants, our needs what does it all really mean? Are there times when what we need exceeds what we want? Because most of the time what we want always exceeds what we REALLY need. I believe it's part of the natural man that is inside each of us to go after things that are temporary highs when God is looking down like "yo Clayton, my boy, that ain't what you need!" But since he has given us this life to prove ourselves and make our choices, how do we really know when to go after the things we want and the things we need.

Each of us has been given this life and whether you believe in a higher power or not, the goal is to be the best we can in this life. We all make decisions and choices everyday that can determine our future. What do in the present can echoe in the eternities is a quote we should live by. In my belief, sometimes or most of the time we get on our knees with something that we want or asking for. It's almost like we have the mindset to get on our knees and pray for revelation of what we need, but we're set in our minds what we want. I can't tell you how many times I've seen the Lord just let me make my own decision and the consequence comes about sometime after.

When I think of different songs that put something like this into perspective, I think of Garth Brooks - Unanswered Prayers - the chorus goes as such :

Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers

Remember when your talkin to the man upstairs

That just because he may not answer doesn't mean he don't care

Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers.

We should look at the things we want in life and understand what we need. The balance of life comes when we can enjoy progressing through achieving our dreams without giving up who we really are. Sometimes those prayers we pray don't come back instantly with an answer and in a world where we want everything instantly, God does not change for what he created - he expects us to change for Him. Take a list of what we want and what we really need and make some decisions to go after something that will strengthen ourselves. Whether its relationships, traveling, a career, or whatever the goal is - TAKE THE CHANCE IF THEIRS A CHANCE WORHT TAKING!

Clayton

Letting The ____Dictate their Own Path

While just reading Keith Urban's website album blog, there was a subject line that caught my eye.

Letting the songs dictate their own path! That statement hit me in a number of ways. Here's what I thought:

Music dictating my feet

Music dictating my mood

Music dictating my inspiration

How I dictate my happiness

How I dictate my future

Our path in this life is dictated by our own choices because what we do in this life echoes in eternity. So reading about Keith's intuition to create a feeling in music and to run with his ideas just amazes me. On the blog Brad states, "It's fascinating to watch Keiths attention to detail while still letting the songs and players dictate there own paths. Sometimes heʼll just sit for a minute silently ...and then all of the sudden he snaps back into the moment with a clear idea of where to go next." Amazing! I look at his attention to detail and it just makes me think how I allow the music to control my feet as I move across a dance floor.

I've found my best moments when I'm at my creative peak is when I'm EXTREMELY busy with life, when my stress release is at its highest point, or between midnight and 5am (for writing songs). It's weird that I have these different creative peaks at so many odd times. I've found when I'm most creative with business efforts I need to be really busy to plan, organize, and act on my ideas. This is most likely due to the fact that my brain juices are moving at high rates. For dancing and freestyling with hip-hop dance, I find that when my stress level is high and I need to break free-my times where I hit the beat and kill it is at those times.

There is preparation in everything we do, so just like Keith can stop for a moment and move forward with a sound or lyric--it took him years of practice and experiment to understand sounds, chords, and progressions. To be at that moment of "aha" or progression with any type of talent, there must be steps of preparation, of failure, of dust-sweat-tears-sometimes blood from the art of working towards the feeling of accomplishment on some level.

So whats your path? What is dictating it? What preparation are you making for that goal?

Overcoming Fear (Video) Yikes

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ml79xjLaYR8

Check out my video for StandStrong.tv about Overcoming our Fears

A little Scared...Endoscopy

One thing you may not know about me is that I have a really bad stomach, like really bad! Sometimes its genetics and sometimes its the way I eat. Even sometimes how much I worry!So on Tuesday, July 20, I'll be going in for my endoscopy and although a lot of people have had it and it sometimes seems like a normal thing, for me its a big deal which I am nervous about. For the last 6 months or so my stomach has ruled me. Hardly eating anything and throwing up at least twice a week, sometimes lately even blood. My energy and my happiness in life has taken a bit of a downturn. I've had a lot of issues with my stomach in the past but they have never been this bad. I want to say a lot of my worrying has probably caused it but when it got to the point of throwing up blood I WAS DONE! I probably need to stop worrying so much but thats me I guess.

Anyways I have had a few blessings in the last few months from my bishop and friends, all have said this will be taken care of and I HAVE NO DOUBT THE LORD WILL BLESS MY HEALTH. I need to take care of myself better with my food choices and my overall well being. I wonder if letting go of things that make me worry so much would help. Either way I know the Lord will bless me, eventhough I havent been the best I can be lately, I have faith that I can overcome whatever is going on and move forward and progress in my life.

Thank you to all who have been there for me family and friends.

Urban Vibe Productions

Men's Style for Summer

Lovin some of these styles right now. Because I'm on such a tight budget til I can sell my car, I will have to do some thrift shopping at Goodwill. WAIT! I do that anyways but still I love finding styles in magazines and online blogs but then going to a thrift store and making my own creation of who I am at the time. No one, I believe, should live their life inside a box that keeps them bound. The whole Hollister, American Eagle, A & F, thing is something I never liked at all, its fine for people that just need clothes and dont' care, well there is this element of guys who wear that clothing that makes them kind of douchebags. Remember that whole movement of popped collars, that was basically the association with douchebagery.

Well at this point it doesnt really bother me and I shouldn't be so judgmental of how people are. Anyways I got off on a tangent there, I am just about steppin out of my box and creating me not letting corporations create my style. There are some good websites out there that offer some good models of street clothing ideas. Karmaloop.com, Nylon For Guys magazine, GQ, London and European street clothing blogs, http://thesartorialist.blogspot.com/. When I was in London over Thanksgiving I found so many ideas of things I could create and decided to look more into new styles.

Right now I'm feeling the nautical, white pants, blue suit coat, even shorts above the knee cap, bow tie, fedora cap style. There is just something about this summer that screams to me nautical style. Update you on some new finds!

Best Show Ever

So here I was last night laying in my bed talking to my roommate Clint Haglund, yes Rexburg - THE CLINT HAGLUND - we were discussing many different topics surrounding our life. We do this quite a bit and end up making so many epiphanies about what we're doing and where we're going. So I was telling him how SCARED I am to figure out my career and what I want to do. Like I said before, 5 classes left in my MBA then......yep a lot of dots meaning knowing very little. Clint was telling me how I have been able to capture what Social Networking is all about because I had established a lot with Urban Vibe and with my friends on Facebook being able to promote so well.

So I sat back and realized that maybe I should stay in this area and see what I can establish as to my ideas for dancing and the arts. I'm trying to link my Urban Vibe Productions with opening a dance studio, dry-bar venue for all ages, a dance battle tour, dance battle wednesday in multiple states, as well as other ideas. So Clint also told me about a show called The Buried Life, which is a show on MTV of 4 friends who have a bucket list of things to do before they die. Now I do have my own list, but I just like the idea of just going for something and having no regrets. I feel like I used to do that a lot and I haven't had that element in my life in a while. Well I have experienced it in a few ways through love and love lost, but in terms of the happiness in my life and what my talents have allowed me to do, I want that element back.

I have been reading a book over again called Crush It by Gary Vaynerchuk which is basically utilizing your passion by starting a blog or a business revolving around social networking and your passion. So I'm trying to link up all these different ideas, advice, research, and experiences I've had to something that I may have to take a giant leap and just do it!

-Watch The Buried Life @ MTV.com

-Google: Gary Vaynerchuk and BUY HIS BOOK CRUSH IT - if you have a passion and want to make money off it - it can work

-I will meet Justin Timberlake in the next year! That is my goal so if you'd like to help..then!

NEW Kenny Chesney - Boys Of Fall - Released Monday

So he's back! New Album coming out in September called "Hemmingway's Whiskey", so the first single from that album is titled, "Boys of Fall." This is a documentary that he has been working on for about 18 months and will be the theme song. It's going to take a little getting used, I like it, but I expected something bigger for a first single. Similar to a "Beer in Mexico" or "Summertime", but since we are coming up to fall here in Sept./Oct. when his album will be released its expected that we get a reminiscent song.

So my first thoughts on the song were memories from my brother playing football at Orange Glen and going to watch him-even being the waterboy for the Patriots. There was that feeling in the air that fall was here, and football was in full swing. I can remember the snack shack, player pins, the coach, the cheering, the national anthem, and smell of the grass.

The lessons I learned from my brother, and the lessons he learned are ever present today and thats what Kenny delivers in this song. I cannot wait for the documentary on HS football to come out and see the true feeling of what Friday nights from September-December are all about. In his song he talks about small towns like his that was the only way out for some of the players. That is a big deal in so many towns and cities in America. Watch Remember the Titans, Rudy, Friday Night Lights, and a few others I can't think of.

So check out the link below and tell me your thoughts on he song


http://www.theboot.com/2010/07/13/kenny-chesney-boys-of-fall-lyrics/

Lessons Learned From a Scion xB - New York, here I come

So this is Sonya. I've had her for a little over a month now and all I can tell you is I am so thankful for family and paying tithing. Because EVERYONE LISTEN I made a huge financial mistake! I went in to see what kind of car I could get one Friday and came away without, Maxine my Nissan Frontier, who I miss! My monthly payments, after a huge ordeal went from $384 to $356 a month with 11% interest rate at 75 months. As much as I was able to talk them down, I MADE A HUGE MISTAKE. I am now looking to sell Sonya and find a more economical car that will save me tons of money. Because heres what I've realized:

**I dont need a nice car until I can really fit it in too my budget

**I would rather use my extra cash to go on trips, save for concerts, and use the money on a future girl

**Debt sucks! Debt sucks!

**As much as I love the Scion xB, man I miss having a truck to take on adventures

The most important thing I've learned is to use a budget and negotiate until theres no more room to negotiate. And I've realized that spending more time outside going to do things rather than sitting in your house doing nothing because you have not that much money after a paycheck is not the life to live.

This next month I am going to New York for my first time. and I'm reaaaallly hoping to have my car sold by the end of this month so I can have that extra cash to spend in New York! Thats the thing about debt, it tangles you in its web until you have no room to move. I hate that and its mine own decision I must face. One thing, I know as well if I pay my tithing, which for LDS is 10% of every check earned from working, that the Lord will bless me to get rid of this mistake and move forward with smarter decisions that will increase my knowledge in life.

One way I see that happening is by having opportunities to take those trips and see museums, go to church in another state or country, meet new people, share the gospel on these trips...so many ways to be of service to others by not being bound by the desires of man. So if you know anyone in the market for a Scion xB 2008, 40,000 miles.

Either way, don't let stupid debt run your life or tangle you in a web that is difficult to get out of!

:)

Ladder of Life

Really like this photo alot. I kind of feel like thats me at this point of my life. Whether its relationships, career, or any next step towards a goal. I guess anyone can create their own ladder and maybe so have connections to other ladders. Maybe someone combines everything into one ladder and each step could be a job, a relationship, a new car, a house, - basically anything. so I'm looking right now at my career and I AM SCARED! Seriously, I'll shout it from the rooftops if you want me too cause im not scared to say im scared!

I have a wonderful job and maybe career at UOP and I'm working towards that MBA, but my degree in Public Relations and the things I want to do I just don't feel are putting me anywhere near some goals. I am so A.D.D. when it comes to my interests that I tell myself a good office job will be nice, then my gypsy side says have freedom to wake up in the morning whenever you do and eventually get to your work, its your time not theirs. Here are some ideas of things I want to do:

Promotions for sports teams: Padres, Chargers, Suns, anyone really

Promotions/Social Marketing for Record Labels, preferably country music

Event Coordinator - any industry really

Own FroYogurt shop with club/venue -drybar

PR/Marketing for Entertainment Companies

Urban Vibe Productions -Dance Battle tour around the country

Buy/Sell properties both residential and commercial

Run my own dance blog

Start dance studio/sing, dance, music, etc...

So these are just a few ideas I am tossing around. Obviously I love anything in the entertainment industry because that seems to be who I am and the talents I have developed.

Train Hopping and Tasting American Life

At night in my bedroom, I like to listen to the radio falling asleep but I also love opening the window. At certain times of the night I can hear the Union Pacific going by which it crosses at Guadalupe and Cooper. There are times in my life where I thought how fun would it be to just hop on a train. Leaving everything behind and just seeing how far you can get on a train. I've heard stories of people getting beating and dragged off a train for hopping it, maybe that part isn't so fun.

What is really so bad about hopping a train anyways? I can understand that your riding on something worth more than your life, but its not like the weight of an individual will make the train go off its tracks. I guess the whole thing for me is - where will I end up? where will it stop? and how many people really do it? or have done it? One of my vacations I've wanted to take is riding across the middle of the country on a train. Going through mountains, valleys, woods, plains, and small towns. Really see the heart of this country and get to know the people who live out liberty and freedom. I've always wanted to drive a car from the start of summer to the end of summer and go from Seattle to Portland, Maine then go down the East Coast back through Tennessee and travel back West. Ballparks, festivals, music, food, and so many other adventures. I know its simple but going to a bbq festival and tasting lemonade in the South is something that excites me. Meeting different people and hearing about the America they grew up in. We'll see if it happens. Maybe 2011 Summer?!

Except Gracie is Red

So this is a very large photo of my bike, Gracie, not an actual picture but very close! I decided to try and take a ride today at noon in 100 degree weather, while the first part of the trip was easy, it became very difficult riding in the heat! I went from my place down Houston to Lindsay Dr. then up to Ray Rd. where I crossed West to Cooper and barely made it to Warner. I had to call my roommate and get a ride from Discount Tire. So 8.2 miles in 100 degree weather NOT A GOOD IDEA! But whatever I got out and enjoyed the day and had a nice bike ride. Thank goodness for a sweet bike like Gracie here!

Who'da Thunk It? Padres 2010

So here we are on July 09, 2010 sitting at the brink of the end of the 1st half of the MLB season. How many people including myself, a HUGE Padres fan, really thought the San Diego Padres would command the best record in the NL and hold a 3 game lead over the Colorado Rockies in the NL West? I stand here and say I did not expect it. Now that they are where they are thanks to pitching from their starters and a bullpen named the "PENitentiary"http://http://www.usatoday.com/sports/baseball/nl/padres/2010-06-29-san-diego-padres-cover_N.htm, for the shutdown crew they are. And although Adrian Gonzalez is the powerhouse of the hitting on the team, .300 avg., 17hr, and 54 RBI's, there is production coming in the strangest of areas.

With the pitching sqaud doing work, Padres have so many opportunities to win by scores of 1-0, 2-1, 2-0, very low scoring games, but a win is a win. So most people believe that the Padres wouldn't last to this point and they continue to say the Padres will not make into October nor will they even win the NLWest. But I believe to this very day, that the Padres will be in the playoffs and will take the NL West Pennant. We have done work with virtually no injuries from any big players except for Chris Young and at this point we are doing just fine with our starting pitching.

Let's hope moving forward after this All-Star Break we can continue our talented play. 50-35 is what we are at currently with the possibility of being 53-35 with a sweep of the Rockies.

GO PADRES

Taking The Next Step

I'm taking the next step everyone. Not sure exactly what that next step is, well yes I do, but my next step in life is to find someone who equally loves me the way I love them. Someone to cherish and look into her eyes through the good and hard times and know that person will never give up. But that will come when it comes, so I'm not going to put too much pressure on that. Letting things happen as they are means actively pursuing someone with attractive qualities but not putting myself out there so much that I will get hurt like the past.

I know what I want in a partner and I will do my best to find those qualities. It sounds easier to type this and say it than it is to actually go out and find someone those qualities. Since I've put myself in a position the last 4 months or so where I thought I had found someone who worked for me, I closed doors to other opportunities. Not that they were knocking at my door, THEY definitely weren't, but I didn't want anyone else-I DIDNT. At this point, its taken a lot for me to just be friends with this girl but I'm slowly moving forward and I hope she finds herself or what she is looking for. So I move forward and whatever happens in the future with a girl will happen at the right time for the right reason. Heavenly Father is going to put the MOST AMAZING girl in my way and when it happens I hope to be prepared for her, and I will be so happy!

Another area I am looking to conquer in the next few months is understanding my path for a career. Working at Univ. of Phoenix has been the best thing for me and I know I am / was supposed to be here in Arizona to make mistakes, overcome weaknesses, and prepare to take the next step in my life. I am furthering my education by getting my Masters in Business Adminstration. I can't wait to be done with school forever after this, but what will I do? Where will I go? I've inquired of friends lately what some projects they are taking on and these are friends who have similar interests or goals. Dave Romeny, Derek Porter, Daniel Kunz, Tyson Stevens, Filip Matous, and Danny Carpenter - these are some friends doing some fun projects that are giving me some inspiration to step out of my box. There is so much I want to do with my interests so I hope I can do the research necessary and write out ideas of what I want to achieve.

Whats your next step in life? and as Filip Matous asks : What do you want to be remembered when this life is done? http://standstrong.tv/

Time To Let Go and Move On...

So it's time to let go, yet another checkpoint in my life which I need to look to back and say what was good and what do I need to change. I wouldn't say this time was for nothing but I cannot hold on anymore to something that will not progress me forward any. I try so hard to be a good example in many different ways and I believe I've done so much for certain individuals but there is only so much you can do. There shouldnt be a time in anyones life which they give so much and receive nothing. Its at the point where I've given all I could. I must let go. I love this person very much and pray for them every night but I must move forward now and accomplish whatever is to be placed before me. Love this picture because it is what I am doing. It may take a little time to get over, but I know the Lord will be there comforting me in every way. Thank goodness for knees to fall upon and know I can rely on the love of My Heavenly Father and my Savior, Jesus Christ. Not too mention family and friends who have been there for me.

So I wrote this song tonight waiting to meet with the Bishop. I wrote in like 7 minutes, it just came to me:

Move On

07/06/10

In my own paradise

Not too crazy

It's a simple life

I move on...

Lessons learned

Through these tough times

Like the wind I blow by

I move on...

Sing it now

I move on...

And I move on

Like an 18 wheeler

Across the American sky

I move on...

Like a young man in

A camaro with his new bride

And I move on...

From the man I was

For far too long

And I move on...

Re-writing my song...

Pushed myself to the limit

Found out that

Ain't a life worth living

I move on...

You can just see

People start growin apart

When its not from the heart

I move on...

Sing it now

I move on...

And I move on

Like a parent letting go

When a child hits the road

I move on...

Like a a love that never lasts

Gettin on from the past

And I move on...

From a world so dark

To find the grace of a selfless heart

And I move on...

Re-writing my song...

Here I kneel

Pray tonight

To have His light in my life

I move on...

One day my

Hope seems to be

Son, come abide with me

Let's move on...

And we move on...

Like the Lord in his goodness

Forgiving the sinners life

We move on...

Like the angels and saints

Walking through the sky

We move on...

Feel the warmth of his love

Never have to worry no more

And we move...

Til forever we move on..